Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Dr.'s Firing Squad

As Todd Snider's "Looking for a Job" plays in the background of my office scene on hump day, I thought it would be best to reflect on those who are looking for a job now, those who should start prepping the resume, and those who I would fire given the opportunity.

1. Lamar Thomas
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Man, you have always been an idiot. I recall back to my younger days when Mr.. Thomas could not keep his mouth shut before the 1992 Sugar Bowl. After getting hawked down by George Teague and stripped of the ball and what seemed to be an inevitable touchdown, Lamar sat for the rest of the game with a towel over his head. After stating that he was "about to go down the elevator to get in that thing." during the Miami - FIU melee, Thomas found himself unemployed earlier this week. Happy hunting Lamar, maybe Gino Torretta can help in finding you a job.

2. Larry Coker
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As your total lack of control over the East Penintentiary Miami Hurricane football team became evident Saturday night, so did the need to sharpen up the ole resume. Your thugs' "gang fight with pads" most likely paid for your plane ride out of South Beach.

3. Dave Rader
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Thank you Dave for four and a half dismal years of offensive production. We have blamed it on Prothro's abscence, team youthfulness, and lack of offensive line. We have heard the "wait til next year" 's. As far as I am concerned something is not right in Alabama's offense. Your the coordinator, you get sacked before the head man. If I was in charge Rader, you could already be making trips to Jax State for positions on Jack Crow's staff.

4. Temple Football
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You have no business playing Division-1 football, and I am not so sure you can even play D-II. Save your self the embarassment and join the Pennsylvania High School football Association, or just drop the program. You Are FIRED.

Others recieving consideration : Sylvester Croom, Lou Holtz (Until he becomes audibly understandable he will always recieve consideration), Watson Brown (That AD job is looking might good), Al Groh

There you have the weekly "job-loss" list.

Mike Shula should be fine. First off, how do you fire someone who is 15-4 in his last 19 games?? Keep in mind the beloved Tubbs is also 15-4. Second, Shula has the opportunity to make a few changes before he is gone. Turn to the fire list. Rader needs to go, and Shula needs to find a replacement who he can give full authority to run the offense. Tennessee and the showdowns with LSU and Auburn could speak volumes on the attitudes towards Mike Shula's future at the Capstone.

Just a mere couple of days until my plane lands on the sandy beaches in Cancun, Mexico. I need a break from work. The construction slow down coming off summer has worn me out. A week of booze, beaches, and latino women could easily revive my work ethic.

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Enjoy the remains of hump day. I will be on the road to Nashville around lunch tomorrow.

Fire away boys


Dr.Feelgood said...
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Daddy said...

Dont be scared! post it!

Daddy said...

Dr., you are a bastard. I cant believe you are gonna be in Mehico. For real though, you better get you a nice little latino lady and pinto her beans.

tigernation said...

I like pinto beans, with rice and maybe a fat ass burrito.

daddy - I bet you like "frank and beeeeans" in your mouth!!!

Dr.Feelgood said...

I will no doubt be a dirty mexican all week.

food included, thing is it is all for free. Bossman picks up the tab

lola said...

dr., i sense irritability. have fun on the vacation, get a tan, go see something old and mexican, and have at it with beautiful girls who have no idea what you are saying. and drink lots of tequila

i'm giving ya'll 10 straight up picks for this week. no ats shit. just my picks.
wvu takes uconn
uva takes the heels
nebraska upsets texas
cal stomps washington
auburn covers against tulane
fla state suddenly realizes the talent they have, ignores jeff, and pulls one off over gimpy matty and the bc eagles
tenn beats bama (sorry dr., but darby scores)
vandy takes the cocks
pitt beats rutgers
arkansas runs on ole miss
clemson beats ga tech in yet another close one.

i know that's 11 and a couple are with my heart and not my head, but what do i know? anything can and usually does happen.

i'm hanging out trying to figure out what exactly "pinto her beans" means

Daddy said...

I apologize for the crude reference. You need to post more often to keep us in line around here.

lola said...

i am really in no way offended. i'm sure i have heard worse, just never phrased so eloquently.

Dr.Feelgood said...

I wouldn't put a nickel on the Bama UT line. Now saying straight up Tennessee beats Bama I can handle that. I would never bet on Alabama, but I might say take Bama @ +11.

I like the Nebraska and vandy calls. Not so sure if Arkansas covers the 19 against Ole Miss (maybe thats a heart pick given last weeks score) Not sure on FSU yet either.

Going to see the North Mississippi Allstars with Jim Dickinson on the river at 6.

Dr.Feelgood said...
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Dr.Feelgood said...

I keep screwing up, and I will not take over Nations Spelling title.

Thanks to everyone for the warm mexican wishes

lola said...

i'm so jealous. i saw them once at jazzfest. never heard of them before then but loved their show.

shakeyour$maker said...

North Mississippi A-Stars used to take us down to "Sugar Town" a lot on drunken nights. "Shake it Baby, Shake it baby, All right!"
Have fun Doctor! Don`t drink the Water! You also need to "Guaco" her "molee."

Dr.Feelgood said...

That I will

"Chimi" her "Changa"