Wednesday, August 09, 2006

Falling Straight to Hell.....Lock 'em up and throw away he key.

Maurice Clarett has fallen from superstar to perp. A simple U-turn winds up being a high speed chase where spike strips were deployed to stop the SUV. After shredded tires finally stopped Not So Slow Mo, it took several officers to handcuff and place him in a transport. Why did the taser not work? Why a bullet proof vest of course. After finally subduing and dousing Clarett and his indoor football dreams in mace, police found 3 pistols and an AK, all loaded. A half bottle of vodka followed but no DUI field test or breath test? Yeah, he would have kicked your ass if you had tried that but what about a blood test later on? Why not another charge, the ATF is looking at the guns and talking federal charges. Imagine Clarett in Supermax. Bail at over a cool mil. Could of had the world, Maurice. It looks like Cynthia McKinney and yourself lost on the same day. Why did you have to be such democrat? Get your Goose on!
23 days and counting. I am looking forward to college cheerleaders.

Georiga and Bama lead the SEC and most of the country in athletic profit. Not bad numbers.

Gandy gone for the season, maybe hopefully not. Auburn takes its first blows from injuries.

Dr., Bama update or practice footage?



King of Tigerland said...

great...ex Hawk and Tiger Eddie Johnson charged w/ sexually assaulting an 8 year old.....terrible

King of Tigerland said...

from Timmy Teck "War Bald Eagle!"

Dr.Feelgood said...

Clarett = Moron

Prothro at practice in boot and not on crutches. I hope he will be back next season. Good sign he was not on crutches.

Shula very pleased with Andre and Javier Arenas

tigernation said...

I'm here bitches....I have been on fire lately. Nursing a hangover at the dentist is the worst thing I have ever done. No cavities though.

Just doing a bunch of work and getting ready for a big lake weekend followed by a Charleston trip next weekend.

Clarett has issues with his chemical balance I think. He is just not right in the head.

Dr.Feelgood said...

I know we haven't had a peeve list in a while, but its Thursday, almost the weekend, and I am raring to go.

- A perennial mainstay on the list, Dumb-ass Realtors. Got a deal closing this month. Should have done the pre closing walk this week. DA goes out of town, not only never confirms a time for her and her clients to walk, but has the nerve to call me and ask a "favor"(which requires about a 20 min. drive) So I take the initiative and schedule the walk thru for early next week. She calls today to ask if "Maybe we can just do it today" I am downtown today and NO WE CANNOT DO IT TODAY, we could have earlier when I tried to get you to schedule it.

- Saving Bottles. Seriously, this was cool Freshman and Sophomore years of college. Then when you became legal it wasn't so cool anymore. My dumbass roomate saves all these dumbass Old Charter bottles, and they are all over the cubicle of an Apt. we live in. Charter is shitty whiskey, for Gods sake, and I feel like I should have a class of 2006 banner somewhere.

- Grocery store Deli employees. These have to be the lowest on the Kroger food chain. Shaved sandwich meat shouldn't be difficult, yet over the past the trips with 3 diff. ladies I have realized it must be extremely difficult.

- Bums - I will help when I can, but when you cross the street and nag me all the way home, I will pee in the dumpster you sleep in. Leave me alone. If I see you need help I will help. If I am coming home from the Y, I don't have my fucking wallet.

- People who bring there kids to late movies. There is a reason late movies are available, so people who want to watch a movie without little sparkplugs spitting, running and screaming can enjoy the show. Thank you Dyke mom and girlfriend, your fuckingturdhead ruined Talladega Nights for me.

- MLGW (also known as Memphis Light, Gas and Water) which I will refer to now as Little Detroit. Had to handle some business there. Horrible. The entity in itself is a 3rd world country. After over an hour of getting directed to other lines, I was told I could simply handle it over the phone. WTF??

shakeyour$maker said...


I feel your pain with the bums. I didn`t know Auburn had any of these people living here because I never saw any..(Except that black guy who would climb into EVERY dumpster in town to salvage all beer cans and bottles to recycle.) Now there is this same fuckface that walks around downtown who has asked me the same question three times on three different occassions. The first time, he came up to me and said, "Man, can you spare any change? I am completely out of gas, and I am just trying to make it home."
I had like 42 cents in my pocket, and said, what the hell..."Here you go sir. I hope this helps you get where you need to go."

A couple of days past, and see the bastard again, walking around downtown....He comes up again, and just asks for change. Usually I am a walking piggy bank of "Loose Change." Unfortunately for the black snake, I had no money to give him...So I politely told him that I had no money on me.

Yesterday, I am walking downtown, and what do you know....that same summammabitch is walking towards me. You would think he would remember who I was....but he obviously didn`t. He said, "Man, can you spare some change? I need some gas so I can make it home."

I responded with," Dude, That is the same fucking lie you told me the other day. I am not giving you shit. Get a fucking job like everybody else."

I was a little worried that "My Mouth had written a check my ass couldn`t cash. (Dazed and Confused)." I kept looking over my shoulder to make sure his black ass was not going to assault me. Good thing for him, he decided not to follow me. I would`ve kicked his ass.....or at least I would have tried.

shakeyour$maker said...

Good news for Tailgaters at the 2nd Season of the Samford Lawn Crew. I spoke with my dad yesterday, and he informed me that we will be able to hook-up to his generator @ their tailgate. They only use the 2000 watt bad boy for a I am bringing a TV, and I hope someone can come up with a fan, If anyone has one to bring for us to use.

I don`t know how this TV will work without a dish or cable access. Kingdom and I have discussed "Rabbit Ears" but I still don`t know if that will even pick up local stations. Any ideas?

tigernation said...

Shakes, you are a bad ass mutha. I would have loved to have a video of you fighting with some jigg on the street in Auburn.

I don't know how much reception you will get from the rabbit ears....but.....the people who set up between your parents and my parents always have that big screen out there with ESPN going all day. Maybe we could ask them if they would splice their line for us. Then we would just need about 150 feet of cable and we'd be set.

My countdown clock here at the computer currently says 22 days, 8 hours, 14 minutes and 35 seconds until kickoff. Better get ready boys, it will be here before you know it....

And yes, I have a fan I can bring....or you could just pick one up at Wal Mart or Target for 25 bucks.

Damn I really can't wait any longer.........still looking for some blue and orange Puma's like Ricky Bobby wears while he delivers pizza......they would be so sweet for gameday.

tigernation said...

Just placed a bid on some Nave/Orange Pumas on ebay. I sure hope I win......sweet

tigernation said...


Dr.Feelgood said...

Navel Orange???

You so need a DISH Satellite. The Bama game must be on TV for the hour and a half it is on before the AU game.

Another Bum story. They are IDIOTS. This one who works cleanup at my little watering hole asked me for money while I was walking to the bar. "Are you kidding me?" You have a job, you will get paid later tonight. Sure enough dumb ass walks in the bar a couple of hours later. I politely told him to never ask me for money again.

Dr.Feelgood said...

Watching Cold pizza right now

Chad Henne is seriously a Heisman candidate?!?!

Congrats tiger fans, Aubie is in the 2006 class for the Mascot Hall of Fame

King of Tigerland said...

...we won't even talk about the homeless who broke in my explorer to steal a dollar and left the 6 disc changer

shakeyour$maker said...


I would love to have a dish out there for you to watch the Cwimson Tide, but I do not have one...nor will I spend the money for a dish. It`s too bad the Tide doesn`t get national attention anymore...I would have at least thought that JP Sports would have picked it up, or even ABC regional. Pay per view is a bitch.....Hell Auburn went through the same thing last season in 2 SEC games (Arky, UK).

tigernation said...

So are we gonna party hard on Fri night before the first game???? I really am starting to get excited. All we can talk about here at work is football....depth charts, UGA and the QB issue (not to mention their O-line issue).

Y'all really need to read the AJC on line. The smoke they blow up UGA's ass is incredible. One puff piece after another. Every day something new. What will they say if UGA loses 3 or 4 this year?

shakeyour$maker said...

The AJC will say that UGA was robbed of a national title this year because, even though they will have lost 3 or 4 games, they should still have been in the NC game.

Then they will start talking smack for next year about how great the Dawgs will be.

King of Tigerland said...

I have been looking and it is absolute crap. Unbelievable.......and yes, Nation we are getting down all weekend. The 2nd Annual Samford Lawn Revival Tailgate Jubilee will either be an all out riot.

Wilber is cooking so you know it will be gooooooooooood.

Dr.Feelgood said...

And the doctor will be in town

tigernation said...

I plan on having quite a few stiff totties with the Dr and the rest of the crowd. My goal is to have an extremely bad headache saturday morning.....followed by a few Mimosa's then on to beer......then maybe some Crown and water about 3 hours before the kick.

Of course i forgot to mention my early morning burn that is a MUST on gameday.

Dr.Feelgood said...

I drank with a judge last night, so I feel very confidant in any future legal issues that may come up in my life.

Looking forward to the tailgate, even though I am passing on a date offer from a very smokin lady in tuscaloosa to attend the Bama game. Bros before Hos.

I think I will choose Beam, Gameday special. Except now that I am in the real world I choose to have Beam with a splash of water.

tigernation said...

I feel your passion for Mr Beam, I just act like complete shit when I drink that before the game.......Usually try to save that until game time, minis are my favorite.

King of Tigerland said...

Dr., make sure to leave your liquids in Memphis or at least not your carry on bc we are going to Heaven right after the airport.

The early morning burn is a must.....I just hope EY will sleep past 6a this year so we aren't burning for 4 hours straight

King of Tigerland said...

I prefer 101 myself. Yes to minis....I am drinking Naked Pirates...gin, malibu & pineapple.....last ode to summer to go with my orange shorts and AUBURN belt buckle

Dr.Feelgood said...

I never really drink beam outside of the gameday setting.

Anywhere to look up lines for the first week yet??

Dr.Feelgood said...

I just hope EY makes it through the tailgate this time.

tigernation said...

Yeah they are in USA today I think.

If not there you could look at Pinnacle, Bet on Sports ,,

I like scores and odds myself, that is where my bookie takes his lines from.

King of Tigerland said...

BAMA by 17