Monday, March 26, 2007

Story Still Not Old

HARTSELLE — So, how dedicated are you to Alabama football?
If you answer that you have season tickets and that you go to every game, that's not good enough for Tim and Hannah Witt.
They do that, too.
But, if you say that you are naming your children after something associated with Crimson Tide football, then you're at the level the couple says separates "regular fans" from "die-hard fans."
As early as mid-January, the Witts knew their second child was a boy, and they knew his name would be Saban.
That's right, Saban Hardin Witt, who was born Tuesday at about 5 p.m. in Decatur General Hospital, is named after Alabama head football coach Nick Saban. He was two weeks early and weighed 7 pounds and 10 ounces.
So, what if Saban doesn't succeed as Alabama's football coach?
"We'll tell our son he was named after one of the highest paid coaches in college football," the father said.
What if Saban Witt turns into an Auburn fan?
"We'll put him up for adoption," his father, joked. "I'm not worried about that. He was bleeding Crimson before he was born, and I'm going to make sure he continues to bleed Crimson."
Older brother is Tyde
The Witts of Hartselle named their first child, who is 23 months old, Tyde Timothy Witt. He's already attended several Alabama football games.
The family will introduce Saban Witt to tailgating and to the Tide nation when Alabama plays Florida State on Sept. 29 at Alltel Stadium in Jacksonville, Fla.
"My parents are going to the game to baby-sit," his father said.
Hannah Witt, a third-grade teacher at Crestline Elementary in Hartselle, was almost six months pregnant before the Witts decided on a name. Initially, they talked about honoring legendary Alabama coach Paul "Bear" Bryant.
"We were going to spell it differently," she said, of the name Bear.
But, the father said one of his good friends, who is a coach in Limestone County, has the nickname "Bear" so they opted against that.
Tim Witt, who watched the Alabama coaching search as closely as anyone, said he thought about naming the baby Saban Jan. 4 after Athletic Director Mal Moore introduced Nick Saban as the Tide's head football coach.
Warming to name
"Hannah was at school, and I called and left her a message," he recalled. "She wasn't excited about the name initially, but after about a week, she started to like it."
The mother said she knew they were going with a name with an Alabama theme, but Saban didn't seem right initially.
"I thought he was crazy in the beginning," she said. "I told some people. They said it was unique, and it grew on me."
The father said friends told him he was crazy.
The Witts said both sets of grandparents — Wayne and Inez Witt of Hatton and Joe and Paula Hardin of Falkville — approved the name.
Hartselle Mayor Dwight Tankersley goes to church with the Witts at Fairview Church of God and tailgates with them at Alabama home games.
Although Saban hasn't coached a game at Alabama, Tankersley isn't surprised that the couple selected that name.
"Just about everybody in church knows they are Alabama football fanatics," Tankersley said.
"Their first child is Tyde. I don't think anybody in church is surprised."
*** From the Decatur Daily News
So what happens if Nick Saban leaves Alabama, or what if he loses every game? You know what, I'm gonna name my first son Jesus. That way I know he'll always be right and he'll probably be able to turn water into wine, heal the blind, and never die.
I seriously feel sorry for this child. They say you can't pick your parents. Well now we know of one person who will be truly angry at the situation he was born into. This will probably lead to spousal abuse, the owning of a rusted out Trans-Am, teenage pregnancy, and tooth loss. Not in that order.
Have a good week.


lola said...

i don't know about the spousal abuse and tooth loss and stuff, but he probably will be called satan once or twice in his lifetime while being picked on. i think the people who said the name was unique were just being nice. i'm sure i wouldn't name a child howard, ford, hatfield, or bowden, but what the hell, they are from alabama. HAHAHA.... i named my two mutts after cities in georgia and mississippi, so to each his own. you guys have a good week. thank you nation for a very informative and enlightening story.


tigernation said...

Ha ha yeah, its probably unfair to predict spousal abuse and tooth loss. But if i had to bet........

Good luck to your Tigers Lola.

ShakeYour$Maker said...

Nation-- That commentary at the bottom was hillarious. Owning a rusted out Trans Am is must for most Alabama fans. Did that article mention what year the parents graduated from UAT? Typical, sidewalk almuni!

Dr.Feelgood said...

The best part is the foreman tat of the old school logo.

tigernation said...

That pic is not of the actual family.

But its exactly how i imagined them so i thought it was fitting

Dr.Feelgood said...

well the tattoo is great

i am now officially out of the pool UNC's collapse ended all hope of Carl Montgomery moving to the top

Dr.Feelgood said...

Thank God Saban is recruiting a kicker it has been 10 years since Alabama had a consistent kicking game

tigernation said...

well auburn is gonna be counting on a true freshman this year. after watching the a-day game i can say with 100% confidence that my little sister could kick better than the gays we have on campus.

Wes Byrum come on down

King of Tigerland said...

is the correct term not......smoking a cigarette while holding a baby and pumping gas?!?!?!

King of Tigerland said...

dr., I believe the brotherhood plus lola should hear about your saturday night as a filmaker from portland!!

Those texts added to a delightful evening for me. I did my damnedest to ruin that tux but only got a lil bit o' chocolate cake on the shirt

tigernation said...


Does anybody ever know?

Dr.Feelgood said...

So Saturday night an older dude that goes by Coffee John (I think he used to own a coffee shop) asked me and Col. Reb if we wanted to go to this warehouse party in the South Main district. He said free booze, so naturally we were in.

So four of us file into one of the shittiest cars I have ever personally ridden in (A Chrysler Concorde) and take off to South Main. We first stopped at a gas station about a mile and a half south of beale. Louis Farrakhan and his posse were in the BP. No shit. After some thought and research it makes sense(G.E. Patterson's funeral was saturday, and Farrakhan spends alot of time in the town)

On from there we got to the warehouse party. Turns out its $10 to get into the now public party for the MEmphis Film Festival.

Coffee John explains that he knows the guy hosting the event and how he brought us, who were all in the film industry to talk to some people. The lady bites it hookline and sinker. She tells us we do not have to pay. This power move guided by drinking all day watching basketball led me to continue the lie throughout the event. I introduced myself a couple of times as Carl Montgomery, filmmaker/producer, portland oregon.

then I ran into someone I knew and had to tame down the references.

I also had another run-in with Memphis law later in the evening. Another typical power tripping meathead pig trying to be a badass. Unlike my first runin with this kind of character I never said a word and kept on walking to avoid an outcome like the last when I shot the cop the bird.

to make a long story short I was crossing the street walking home from Raifords. I was almost halfway in to the street when about a 1992 silverado comes flying around the corner and building up speed. HE could clearly see we were already in the process of crossing. Instead of politely letting us cross he decides to gun it and go faster. I walked to the middle of the road just to get close enough that the clown would think I might continue in front of him. HE then slams his brake right next to me and I notice it was one of Memphis finest who had clearly gotten off work and decided that he was still a badass even if he was now driving his piece of shit truck as opposed to the squad car.

He threatened me with a jaywalking ticket, to which I laughed. Then he told me if I were to ever be in front of his piece of shit he would "run my fatass over" Then he drove off. By this point his cop buddy also off duty had pulled behind him in no shit a toyota corrolla. Colonel yelled that this was absurd to to Corrolla. This is the sole reason I do not like Memphis cops. The 2nd worst Urban city crime wise in the US (thanks to Detroit) and me a tax paying resident has to put up with this GED carrying roid mongrel in a uniform when I am trying to casually walk to my apartment. I was clearly in the middle of the road, he clearly was flying, I would have been ticketed driving that fast on a dowtown street, and I had to put up with this shit. Totally uncalled for.

tigernation said...

That right there is great.

King of Tigerland said...

absolutely, nation, I love it and only wish I had better stories

Dr.Feelgood said...

I am not so sure rather I am really proud of this or not, but if a TV channel wanted to do reality show on life after college of a single male, the shit that goes on in my life would rival most anyones

King of Tigerland said...

dr, I could agree on that.

Turner is making a reality show of first time home buyers here in atl that they are calling "Property Virgins".....they have interviewed my roomates hot realtor as a consultant.....I would bet it either A. never makes the air B. name is changed

King of Tigerland said...

This weekend, women in their 20's didnt like me but women in their 30's loooooooooooved Wilbur Churchill

tigernation said...

I too feel like my life is a soap opera from time to time.

Its like we used to say in college, if somebody would take all of our stories and pull the funniest ones to make a movie, it would be an instant hit.

King of Tigerland said...

"That is going in the movie!"

tigernation said...

^^^^ There you go!!

Daddy said...

We should make a movie. We would have to play ourselves, because I doubt we could get Matthew McConaghey(sp?), the actor that I most closely resemble, to play me. We could probably get some old actor like that guy who played "old blue" in Old School to play nation though.

Dr.Feelgood said...

Yes and we could get Rick Moranis to play shakes

tigernation said...

Not sure about Old Blue but i'm sure Brad Pitt or perhaps George Clooney would be willing to play me. Since they have my type of life experience and physical make up.

Eat turds daddy

King of Tigerland said...

Actually, I will be Clooney, $ & Daddy will be Brokeback Mountain, Nation can be Pitt and I guess the Dr. is the director/producer after this weekend.

Daddy said...

More like Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

And you, kingdom, will not be played by Clooney but by Gary the Retard from Howard Stern.

Bowling? What day?

tigernation said...

there is only one actor for you kingdom.....


ShakeYour$Maker said...

Clonts could be played by John Candy ( his soul....Great Outdoors was already used in Gatlinburg), Jim Belushi, Horatio Sanz, Andy Richter, John Goodman, Alec Baldwin, Chevy Chase, or the great Jack Black.

I honestly don`t know how you remembered Rick Moranis, but that just made me gut laugh for a few minutes.

Daddy could be played by Rainn Wilson.

Kingdom would be played by Rikki Lake or Randy Jackson.

Nation would be played by George Burns, Ian Zerring, Martin Sheen, or Steve Carrell.

I would be played by one of the Owens brothers, Vince Vaughn, or any normal badass actor.

Did anyone see where G`vt Mule is playing in TTown on April 21? They are playing at the Jupiter Bar and Grill. Tix are $25. Could be a fun little trip.

Daddy- Bowling any day this week except Friday...going to Gulf Shroes.

tigernation said...

Ian Zeiring?

Daddy said...

Ian Zerring would be perfect, complete with tight-rolled everything!

Hows about bowling tomorrow?

King of Tigerland said...

Shakey asking for an ass whoopin from Steven fn Seagal!!!

$=Haley Joel Osmon or queer another child actor or Kenny from South Park
Diddy=Richard Simmons
Nation=Larry David or
Churchill/Kingdom=Colin Farrell or Russell name is maximus
Dr=Cartman from Southpark

Went to my first broker function at lunch.....nice tenderloin w/ horsey sauce....any know someone who wants 60,000sq ft in downtown atl...lemme know!!!

ShakeYour$Maker said...

Daddy--What about today?

Nation--you remember Ian Zerring! He was "Steve" from 90210. Remember 90210? It was that show that first aired when you were a Senior in high school.

Kingdom-- Billy Bob from Varsity Blues or Bentio Del Toro from Fear and Loathing...not Bentio from Usual Suspects.

tigernation said...

I remember who he is you idiots. But in no way do i look like that asshole.

And it aired when i was in middle school, punks.

If Brad Pitt won't play me then i guess it will have to be Bo jackson.

ShakeYour$Maker said...

More like Michael Jackson, Nation!

tigernation said...

Ha ha or maybe Jesse Jackson!

Jibbity jibbity and ratta tat tat.....

Dr.Feelgood said...

I will pretend those were not fat jokes.

Daddy would be excellently portrayed by Dwight schrute. Nice callshakes

Nation could be played by Alan thicke

Shakes done by Seth green

I would be most likely Brian urlacher

Dr.Feelgood said...

Wilbur by Keenan from Keenan and kel

King of Tigerland said...

Anything from $ to me is a fat joke so you are not the only one, Dr. At least he did not call you Rikki Lake.

And Benicio in Fear & Loath may be for the state of mind over his nuptial. I got druuuuuuuuuuuuunk. This is what happens when I quit smokin'.

$ is asking for a form tackle.

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