Monday, October 29, 2007

South Korean UGA football fans

Go Dawgs!!! The deserve to sic' em after this weekend!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

Auburn Def. Coach Will Muschamp calls Ark. Motherf*ckers

Again...because the Champ said so.

Will Muschamp is a God

Again, yes, he is a god. A man-god who mearly walks among mortals cussing and and staring with the intensity of a mad man. His defense is amazing. What if Auburn had an offense who could get a second half first down? What if Auburn had a head coach with the balls to kick it deep and trust your amazing athletes (ie:Muschamp's players) on kick coverage? Yes, Will Muschamp is a God. And the Bulldogs want him back.............


JUST HOW BAD IS WILL MUSCHAMP?

When Muschamp takes a swim, he doesn't get wet, the water gets Muschamped.


Will Muschamp doesn't read offenses. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.


Muschamp makes chuck norris sit down to pee.


Before Chuck Norris goes to sleep at night, he checks his closet for Will Muschamp.


Will Muschamp once played 18 holes of golf using a 12 inch strip of rebarand a sun dried tomato. He shot a 54.


Will Muschamp could kill Chuck Norris nine different ways with his head set and four different ways with his play chart.



Will Muschamp sleeps with a night light. Not because he is afraid of the dark but because the dark is afraid of Will.

Will Muschamp doesn't fart, he detonates

Superman wears Will Muschamp pajamas to bed.

Will Muschamp does not teabag the ladies. He potato-sacks them.

Will Muschamp didn't hang the moon. He stared down an asteroid and it stopped in it's tracks.

Will Muschamp's calendar goes straight from March 31st to April 2nd; no onefools Will Muschamp.

Will Muschamp was originally cast as the main character in 24, but wasreplaced by the producers when he managed to kill every terrorist and savethe day in 12 minutes and 37 seconds.

Will Muschamp doesn't cut his grass, he dares it to grow.

Will Muschamp used to beat the sh*t out of his shadow because it wasfollowing to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

They say that Superman's only weakness is kryptonite.

Will Muschamp laughs at Superman for having a weakness.

Will Muschamp's dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Will Muschamp will not take sh*t from anyone.

Will Muschamp once partook in a pissing contest outside of a bar. His opponent drowned.

Will Muschamp can build a snowman out of rain.

Will Muschamp's wristwatch has no numbers on it. It just says, "Time to kick ass."
The Daily Football Fix will forever be known as the Daily Champ per Will Muschamp.
Thank you, Mooga, much appreciated to whomever came up with this.

Friday, October 19, 2007

Slobberknocker

Oh, what a slobberknocker it is gonna be!

LSU/Auburn...the winner will probably represent the Western Division in Atlanta, which is the way it has been for a long time. The two defenses in the conference. Two inconsistent offenses. What a war this will be.

Daily Football Fix Dead on Pick..........Auburn +11........bet the house. If we are lucky, there will be 11 points total.

I can't wait to hear the stories from Tommy & Eddie in Baton Rouge.

On the way back from Birmingham Wednesday, Wilbur met Carl & Odell at the Peerless for a Coors. Interesting place, the oldest questionable establishment in Alabama. Circa 1899. Gotta love a bartender who looks like a mechanic.

As we sat at the bar watching Carl be a vidieot on the video game machine, he made a statement that rang true to me.

"I still act like I did in college." - Carl Montgomery
You know what, I do to. So does Nation, $hakes and Gayddy. Why? I am still the same person, I have matured, however I am still the same person. And you know what? I am probably gonna act like that for a while. I am having to much fun. Hanging out in questionable establishments, chasing crazy women and enjoying all that the big city has to offer a twenty something who spends his days in a steel and glass office tower. At night, I wanna cut loose a bit.....drink here, a smoke there, here a drink, there a smoke, everywhere a drink, drink.

Regardless, point being..........we are still the same people we were in college and always will be.........proof? Eddie and Tommy in Baton Rouge this weekend! War Damn Eagle!!!
Kim K takes the Vols. Another Paris Hilton wannabe who only real talent is sex.
Tennessee wins outright. Last time the 3rd October in Saturday was in Tuscaloosa the Bamers made a painting of pathetic 3 field goal, aren't we lucky he fumbled game. Not this year. Vols hang 30 on the Tide and roll, 31-21.
Florida gets it together and blows UK out of the water, 42-24.
Wilbur, out!


LSU karate chop

Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Back to the Ham

Life has been crazy lately. Can't explain, don't really want to try. Ol' Chuchill is about to leave the office to head back to Birmingham for a client tour in the morning. First though, he has to call AAA to get his truck started. Yeah, seriously, before I go anywhere, I call AAA. Hey guys, can you give me a jump?? Thank heavens we are dropping it tonight and rocking a sweet full size rental tomorrow.

A few observations from the weekend to give you something to think about til my return on Friday.

-Applewhite and Saban are not on the same page, regardless of how well the offense performs. Does anyone else get the impression that Major is thinking like Roy Upchurch, F*** Saban??

-Mark Richt is a good man. Damn near, knocked out his own thugs when they were jumping on Vandy's star.

-Tubs has bit of confidence in his defense. Yeah, seriously, how obnoxiously cocky do you have to be to sit on a 3 point lead?

-Brandon Coutu has the funkiest eyebrows in the SEC. He looks evil.

-Tony Barnhart picked AU over LSU..............ah oh.

Out, King

Friday, October 12, 2007

Called Out...State of Alabama Midseason Update

The King of Tigerland has been called out for lack of activity on the blog recently. Well, yeah, given the fact that he is working two jobs, developing and closing business and travelling back and forth from Birmingham to Atlanta among other things....yeah, it has slipped. Not anymore, the fire has been lit and the vengeance shall return.


On top of that, called out by a punk who hides behind a friends screename. P*&$y. Yeah, go ahead and call someone's grandmother to sell her retirement services that are mearly junk bond, bullsh@t securities. Again, p@#&y.


Not anymore, the following post will be a scathing return to the good old days where all Carl Montgomery could say was, F@#k you! Hopefully this next post will elicit that response.


THE CREAM HAS RISEN TO THE TOP LATELY


With identical records, Alabama and Auburn could not be further apart in regards to the state of the football programs. Auburn has found an identity while Alabama has regressed.

First, Alabama is in trouble. The redshirt freshmen running back who the Bama fans (including Carl Montgomery) crowed about as the SEC's leading rusher is not even the starter anymore. Bama prefers to run the ball with Glen Coffee, who reminds me of Tarrant Lynch, and Roy "F Saban" Upchurch. The Mississippi Midget, Terry Grant, is no longer the Tide's first choice.

The offensive line still sucks. #71 can't play all 5 positions and Andre Caldwell is the most overrated linemen in the SEC. Right after King Dunlop but we will get to that in a few.


Coaching...not pretty. The most telling sign that Alabama is poorly coached. At the end of a game in a hail mary situation, DB's are taught to knock the ball down, not intercept it. Well, the team player that is Simeon "I'm a crying b$tch" Castille intercepted the Houston football to end the game while LSU knocks down Tebow's last prayer in Baton Rouge. And Saban coaches the DB's, don't tell me he is not telling those guys to knock it down. They just don't listen or care (ex. Roy "F Saban" Upchurch).........also, when the head coach calls out the playcalling in the papers it is not good......the tide is unravelling, fast.

Johnny Parker Walker Crimson, well that is another story. He will not be an elite QB ever at Alabama, he doesn't have the footwork or balls it takes to win in the SEC.

Defense, huh, what defense? That is a joke on the Capstone.


To be blunt, Alabama does not know how to close the door on an opponent, a trademark of a Nick Saban team. This isn't Saban's team. Nor will he stay around long enough to make it his.


Bama is favored by 6 in Oxford this weekend, ha, Ole Miss covers like a champ and might win!


Do you really think he will be there for his first recruit's senior season?


Now back to the eastern plains of Alabama for the Auburn report. Not much to write about other than the Tigers look to be the class of Alabama football again. Their offense has regained its footing and looks to be as explosive as 2005. Tubs says he will be back (we shall see) next year.


The defense is #2 in the league and missing 4 starters. Seriously?!?! How is Will Muschamp not the best DC in the league? I say better than Bo Pelini. Who wants to argue??


In closing, Auburn looks to be the dominant team in Alabama again.


WILBUR PICKS


Ole Miss +6


LSU -9


Georgia -7


Auburn +3


Warmest regards,


Wilbur P. Churchill


The King of Tigerland

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Honesty is the Best Policy

Alabama coach Nick Saban fired a shot at South Florida's admissions policy. "There are a significant amount of players who don't qualify and they end up being pretty good players at some other schools," Saban said in an interview with the Birmingham News. "I think there are six guys starting on the South Florida defense who probably would have gone to Florida or Florida State, but Florida and FSU couldn't take them." Cheap shot? It certainly came off that way to USF coach Jim Leavitt, a rising star who did not care for someone dumping mud on his team's historic accomplishment.

-New York Daily News

Well, Coach Hair Plug is right and only being honest . South Florida's team is made of SEC rejects.

World Largest Swimsuit Shoot in Australia presents the Daily Football Fix with our Award of Excellence from our Australian readership. Thank you and throw another shrimp on the barbie!!

Texas A&M officials have examined Dennis Franchione's contract to determine if he violated the terms of his deal, CBSSports.com has learned. Franchione is under fire after the Friday revelation that he operated a secret website for three years. A certain segment of powerful Texas A&M officials "want him out" according to a source but there is no immediate move to fire the coach. The examination of the contract seems to be an indication of Franchione's deteriorating relationship with his superiors. The website scandal combined with a blowout loss to Miami this season, a 29-24 record in 4 1/2 seasons and a $2 million salary, has led to the dissatisfaction. The contract runs through 2013.
-sportsline.com
Gene Stallings is now on the Board of Regents and remembers Fran not telling the Bama players goodbye.........Gene hates him..........$1o Tubs goes to A&M
Wilbur P. Churchill